


You Are My Sweetest Downfall.

by imnotreallyahipster



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Character Death, F/F, Song fic, musician!Danny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 12:00:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3067097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotreallyahipster/pseuds/imnotreallyahipster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your hair was long when we first met.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are My Sweetest Downfall.

**Author's Note:**

> The song in this fic is actually "Samson" by Regina Spektor, I just changed to lyrics a bit. But I don't own it, or Carmilla.

You have Carmilla play the piano for you, you're not sure you can do it on your own, you don't look at the crowd as you softly begin to sing into the microphone.

\---

_You are my sweetest downfall_  
 _I loved you first, I loved you first_  
 _Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth_  
 _I have to go, I have to go_  
 _Your hair was long when we first met_

\--- 

You first meet her at college orientation, she was a bubbly freshman with long, blonde hair, she was at least a foot and a half shorter than you are. She introduces herself as Laura and you talk to her for awhile before she checks her watch.

"Shoot! I have to go!" The small girl smiles and writes her number on your hand.

A week after meeting her, you write her a song, you fold it up and tuck it under the least used book on your bookshelf.

\---

Your voice chokes a bit before you continue to sing. The piano continues to play a soft, but sad tune.

\---

_Laura, went back to bed_  
 _Not much hair left on her head_  
 _She ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed_  
 _And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us_  
 _And the bible didn't mention us, not even once_

_You are my sweetest downfall_  
 _I loved you first, I loved you first_  
 _Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads_  
 _But they're just old light, they're just old light_  
 _Your hair was long when we first met_

\---

You smile at Laura, when she climbs into bed with a piece of bread in her hand, she nibbles on it and snuggles under your arm. You run your hand against the short hairs on her head. You think back to your first real date, the kind that you both actually called a date, not just having pie at the quad together.

You had taken her out to an abandoned field and pointed out constellations, she made up her own and you both laughed about it.

You ended the night by singing her that song you wrote her a week after you met, then you ask her to be your girlfriend. She giddily tackles you, smacking her hand against your guitar. You both laugh and kiss, watching the sunrise. 

You had played with her long blonde hair as she tried not to fall asleep while watching birds pick for worms.

You're pulled back to the present when she places the half eaten piece of bread on the nightstand and curls back up to you.

\---

_Laura, came to my bed_  
 _Told me that my hair was red_  
 _Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed_  
 _Oh I cut her hair myself one night_  
 _A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light_  
 _And she told me that I'd done alright_  
 _And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light_  
 _And she kissed me 'til the mornin' light_

\---

She climbs into the large bed of your shared apartment, you've been together for two years before she got the news. Another few months before she started chemo therapy.

She plays with your hair.

"Your hair is so red and pretty." She kisses you then mumbles against your lips. "You're so beautiful, and I'm... Not..." You feel her wet cheeks against your own and your own tears start to well up.

"You're beautiful." You repeat it against her lips and you continue to kiss late into the night. The sun is starting to rise as you both just lay beside each other, you reach up and run a hand through her hair.

Your hand comes back with a chunk of her hair.

She stares at it with tears in her eyes.

"No... No..." You both cry in each other's arms before you stand up, determined. You return to the small woman shortly with a pair of scissors. She wipes her eyes and stares at the scissors before nodding. You lead her to the bathroom.

You began the difficult job of cutting chunks of hair off with dull scissors, she watches as the strands settle slowly to the floor.

Thirty minutes she stares at the slightly uneven hair in the mirror. She lets a watery laugh out and looks at you.

"It's alright." You smile sadly at her. 

"We'll fix this soon." You kiss her again and bring her to your bed and pull her close.

The next day you shave your head off while she's sleeping. She cries when she sees you.

\---

_Laura went back to bed_  
 _Not much hair left on her head_  
 _Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed_  
 _Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down_  
 _Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one_  
 _And history books forgot about us_  
 _And the bible didn't mention us, not even once_

\---

You cry when you can't marry her. It's all you've dreamed about for the past year. And now she might... You don't want to think of it.

She smiles at you with that small smile of hers.

"I don't need to marry you to know you love me." She nibbles on a slice of bread, it's all she can keep down lately. 

You cry harder at that, because how can she be so good to you? How did you end up with this wonderful woman? She holds you and you hold her in the cold and sterile hospital room. Later that night, you hold her hand while staring at the multiple wires and tubes teethering her to the hospital bed.

Silent tears pour out of your eyes and you begin to write her another song.

\---

_You are my sweetest downfall_  
 _I loved you first_

\---

You finish the song with tears running down your face and walk away from the microphone and towards the coffin holding the tiny woman, you hold her hand and kiss her forehead, staring at the woman who looks so much more frail than she did when you first met her. 

"I love you, I love you, I love you..." You repeat quietly. Carmilla walks up behind you and touches your shoulder. You turn into the shorter woman, only a few inches taller than she is... was...

You sob into her hair as she tries to move you to a chair in the front row when the priest begins to talk about things you don't really want to hear.

\---

It's three years later and you sit at the headstone reading her name and date of birth and "Loving daughter, friend, partner."

"I miss you so much, but Laura, I found someone new.. Well, not new, persay. But it's... Well, it's Carmilla. Yeah." You laugh slightly. "Who knew, your exes bonding over this. I don't think I ever hated her, and we both love you so much, I wish we could have spent more time together when you were..." You release a shuddering breath. "Gay marriage was legalized today. Neither of us want to get married. It feels like... Betrayal. To both of us. We love you so much. And I think I love her too... But I loved you first." 

A breeze passes through your now long hair and you close your eyes. 

You trace the words and kiss two fingers before placing them against her name. 

You stand up and leave the cemetery with tears falling down your face.

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SORRY. I'M SO SORRY. I MADE MYSELF CRY WITH THIS.  
> Also, I was gonna put this in my drabble post, but oh god, I couldn't.


End file.
